Being a Stay at Home Daughter

This is an article I wrote for the current issue of CLM. Please enjoy!
Being a stay at home daughter is such a privilege! After moving here to Texas 6 months ago, I went through a phase where I didn’t know what my role was. My brother had just gotten a job and then later he started a relationship, and my parents had their roles, but I didn’t know what my role should be. Should I get a job and work outside the home five days a week? Should I get a job that allowed me to work from home? Should I focus on my ministries? Should I stay at home? What about college?

I know for a fact that there are many girls who wish they could be stay at home daughters, but due to pressure from family and friends to be “like everyone else” they go off to college, or to work outside the home. Now I’m not saying there is anything wrong with going to college or working! College is a wonderful opportunity to pursue what God is laying on your heart to study, to learn, and then to use to help others and glorify Him. And working is another great opportunity to serve others, and to be a witness for Jesus. If you feel called towards those things, go for them! I’m in total support of you! You must follow what you know God is leading you to do in life. But for this issue we are focusing on being a stay at home daughter.

What if you don’t feel led to go to college or work outside the home? If you’re like me, I’m sure as soon as you turned eighteen, people began to ask, “So what are you doing next?” expecting the usual answers of college, job or both. But what if that’s not what God has for you? You answer, “I want to serve God and my family.” and I pray you had a beautiful Christian community who supported that decision!

Circling back to my first point, after debating those things in my mind, I knew what I wanted to do. It’s what I had been doing all my life, even when I was still in school. I wanted to be a stay at home daughter, and that’s what I felt God leading me to do.

Up until recently, my mom and I kind of did half and half of keeping the home, but then in March she fell really sick and could not do any of the things she had been doing. So, I took them on. I did the dishes, cleaned the house, did the laundry, sweeping, moping, you name it – and you know what? I didn’t drag through it like I may have in the past, saying “I have to do this”, no, I saw it as an opportunity to serve my mom, my family and my Lord. And once my mom is fully better, I’m not letting her take any of it back. She’s done so much for our family for so many years, it’s about time I took over her responsibilities. And it brings me joy! I love seeing a clean kitchen, I love baking banana bread, I love folding laundry, I love clearing the table – I love serving my family.

Colossians 3:23-24 says, “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.” Isn’t that such a beautiful verse? Whenever I may feel like I don’t especially want to do a certain job, I think of that verse. Isn’t it amazing to think that in all we do, we’re not just serving our family but we are glorifying God in doing it with a happy heart? That just makes me smile to think about.

And just to clarify something, being a stay at home daughter does not mean you never leave the house, for any of you wondering. I do many things outside the home, from Church to shopping to hopefully making friends in the future. Being a stay at home daughter does not mean you have no life outside the home, so never make that assumption! I know many girls who when asked what they do and answering no to the usual questions, people have said, “Well then what DO you do?” as if because we don’t work or go to college somehow we’re sitting at home with our hands folded doing nothing? It’s sad that today’s society does not honor women, and especially stay at home women. Being a stay at home daughter means life is full! I don’t have as many responsibilities as I know a lot of you other daughters with younger siblings do, but together we do a lot!

Another gift of staying home is we are able to focus on our ministries even more too. You may have a prayer ministry, or a sewing ministry, or a writing ministry – I personally have the ministry of this magazine and the new CLM blog, as well as running The Smile Project. Those things bring me great joy to work on and see God’s hand working through them. Ministry work is such a gift from the Lord. There are so many ways to be a gift and witness for Jesus right from our homes! Being home is also another way to learn valuable skills such as cooking, sewing, accounting, and many other things that will come in very handy if the Lord wills you marry someday.

So, daughters who are called to stay at home, be proud of the amazing role God has gifted you with! You are gift to this world, a woman with a special calling, a woman who is strong and capable and beautiful. Keep serving our Lord and your family with a smile, for together we are will change this world.